Southern charm isn't all it's made out to be.

Southern charm has a really great feature - you can insult people and get away with it!

There's a lady who comes into my work every few weeks, I'll call her Miss June. She's as nice as can be and she always brings food. Always. She epitomizes that Southern charm thing I'd always heard about. When she talks, I feel like Paula Deen is standing on her shoulder giving diction lessons. She's in everyone's business, knows everyone and is a veritable fount of gossip. When she gets going, it sounds like someone left the tv on at a nature show of frogs gurgling at each other... non-stop.

There's only one problem with her. That net between her brain and mouth that we all have - or should have - is not there. She can say anything that she wants about anyone, even to their face, and you can't get offended because she always follows it up with one of three things:
"Oh, bless his little heart."
"But we all know her parents aren't like that, are they?"
"He means well, the poor darling."
It's an instant reaction that she's somehow learned to say right after she says anything that someone could be upset by.

Here's an example of Miss June:
"You know that Bobby Brown beat up his wife last night, don't you? She called the police and they took him to jail. Now she claims he didn't hit her and she tripped and fell, bless her little heart. We all know Bobby's parents taught him better."

What she's really saying is:
"Bobby beats his wife and she probably deserves it. He never should have married her but she made him do it. Bobby is much better than his wife and he ought to divorce her but she'll just take all his money and ruin his life."

When I finally figured out what she really meant as she shared all the gossip with everyone in the office, I decided I'd try out her tactic.

"Why does Miss June come in here every day? It's always so inconvenient for us since it's in the middle of the day. Is she really just a lonely old lady who has nothing better to do? That's so sad, bless her little heart."

I got a "Bless her heart" in agreement from everyone in hearing distance. How backhanded is that?

Everyone here says something like that at least once a day. It's not just Miss June.